There is no god, everyone lies and the dream in your heart will always be out of reach.

“Many people need desperately to receive this message: ‘I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.’”

- Kurt Vonnegut, Timequake

Thanks to Xopa for reporting early while I just bite later: The Onion, info outlet for vigilant news hounds worldwide has launched the Onion News Network. Setting the standard for globe-encompassing 24-hour television news since it was founded in December, 1892, the video news network boasts channels in 171 languages and can be viewed in 4.2 billion households in 811 countries.

Check out this excerpt from an eye-opening rountable on recent immigration law advances in the U.S. of YEEEEEEEHAAAAH A.:

Beth Mann, the future ex-wife of my dreams, offers a new Brooklyn short on the May-September promise of a brighter tomorrow, Ruby’s dark homecoming from Africa and the undeniable steel imperative of a 24 year old’s manhood.

It’s one of her finer crafted pieces, more honest and less flippant than most…which I find appealing.

Check it out here.

DVDA
“I Am Chewbacca”
Pseudo Metal Heartland Wookiecore

Trey Parker and Matt Stone, creators of South Park, are brilliant. That show and the other movies they’ve created are often sharp as glass in their satire on everyone and anything including politics, the media, fundamentalists groups throughout the world and Tom Cruise’s crotch.

They also have kick ass psuedo metal heartland rock band called DVDA. In addition to classic power metal ballads like “America, Fuck Yeah” which ridicules overzealous patriotism, they’ve dropped it like an ewok with hits like Orion’s favorite “I Am Chewbacca”. Full lyrics here, listen to the song below.

UPDATE: A video for “AFY”