Fox News Flash: Killer Pink Pistol Packing Lesbian Gangs On the Rise
Rod Wheeler, ex-DC cop and current Fox News commentator, was recently allowed to report via Bill O’Reilly’s televised forum:
“Well, you know, there is this national underground network, if you will, Bill, of women that’s lesbians and also some men groups that’s actually recruiting kids as young as 10 years old in a lot of the schools in the communities all across the country…And they actually carry a number of weapons. And they commit a number of crimes.”
Cop Rod goes on to report that these killer lesbian gangs are recruiting straight kids, turning them gay through forced sexual acts and then turning armies of killer kiddie dykes upon unsuspecting, upstanding midwesterners.
In addition to the mid-60’s era stock footage of teenage white girls smoking Kools and waving box cutters, I believe the Bride of Frankenstein and oompa loompas are also mentioned as being involved:
Hi, media watch dog groups? It’s me, Margaret. Isn’t there some sort of “The First Amendment Wasn’t Intended to Protect National News Outlets from Alerting the Masses that Santa Claus Exists and Is Also a Child-Sodomizing Vampire” legislation we can lobby to outlaw this sort of ludicrous pseudo-news theatre?
C’mon dude. Freedom of speech can only go so far. If this ain’t the homophobic equivalent of crying ‘Fire!’ in a crowded movie house, I don’t know what else would qualify. Fox News is no longer just creating a slightly warped reality for uneducated Americans to believe in…they’ve traveled far, far past the point of harmless xenophobic fiction. They’re now unabashedly & maliciously promoting hatred based on sexual preference.
Next on a very special Fox News exclusive report: Cop Rod has a tail and horns he hides under his afro!
(More detailed and markedly less emotional coverage from Orcinus here.)
ingrid lagos : Jul 10 2007
is this for real? nawwwww! this shit is not real…you’ve made up the news clip with your cool mac video editing tools! i don’t believe it! I’m on my way to my closes big box business to buy a TV, now I think is as important as not having one.
Olivia : Jul 10 2007
That’s so unfathomably RIDICULOUS. Thanks for sharing, Beebs. Anyone wanna move to Canada? SIGN ME UP for Toronto. As if Frank Rich’s OpEd from Sunday’s NYT was not enough for me to hate America in it’s current incarnation (email me if you need to borrow my password to read it, suchman@sbcglobal.net):
http://select.nytimes.com/2007/07/08/opinion/08rich.html?n=Top%2fOpinion%2fEditorials%20and%20Op%2dEd%2fOp%2dEd%2fColumnists%2fFrank%20Rich
Andrew : Jul 11 2007
“Right here in Washington, DC, last week, a young man was attacked at one of the Metro stations…”
Wow. Even metrosexuals aren’t safe… run for the hills!