Boxing Bootcamp Day 6 : What I’ve Learned So Far

Last week saw the end of my first week of boxing bootcamp at SF’s 3rd Street Gym. This morning was the start of my second. Matt McGraw a.k.a. Matt Rock a.k.a. He Who Injected the Idea of Bootcamp Into My Head, friend to me and some of you, is also kicking his own ass in this program.

1. Winning a 10 block foot race against someone on a bicycle peddling full force is pretty damn impressive! Unless the person on the bike is 5′1″, 200lbs and quite possibly asthmatic. And there’s 30 other people ahead of you yelling for you to hurry up. Including another 5′1″ 200lb chick, on foot. And some other dude I’m pretty sure has a fake leg.

2. In San Francisco, it will never ever ever ever ever be anything other than get-the-hell-back-in-bed dark out at 4:00AM.

3. Ruby looks hot in my gloves:

4. Not eating a sensible amount of carbs & protein before working out can lead to a marked reduction in speed and energy quite quickly after starting one’s workout. Seems once the body runs out of glycogen stores (look it up) it’ll start to burn fat as fuel for your workout. Sweet! I’m losing weight, right? Ah, maybe, but it also takes more energy to burn fat - about 15% more on average - which means I’m burning more energy to maintain the same speed. And eventually my body starts burning muscle as well…which I and (more importantly) the ladies tend to dig on. Which means I start to get real tired real quick, slowing to a crawl about halfway through our daily run. Which means the chick on the bike ends up being the only one I’m not a block behind. Which causes the phrase YOU ARE A WORTHLESS SUCK to ring over and over in my head. Which tends to drown out the instructions from Tom Cruise which are beamed directly to my fillings.

5.
1/2 bottle of Absinthe
+ 1/4 handle of Maker’s
+ 40 Parliments
+ several nickel bangs of funk
+ 4 ball
+ foie gras, steak & polenta
+ 1 pint Hagen Daz
+ barely any water or sleep for the entire weekend
= coming very close to vomiting and losing consciousness while doing wind sprints on Monday.

6. My left bicep, tricep and forearm have developed almost as big as my right. Which is a notable feat considering I haven’t had a serious girlfriend for months.

7. I get to punch Matt McGraw in the face for the next 5 weeks. Which is the top reason I signed up for this self-torture fest.